Implementing Sex Education

So you have volunteered to teach sex education in your school or program … or perhaps you have been “drafted” to do so … or maybe you see an obvious gap in information about this topic and feel compelled to do the right thing? Whatever reason brings you to this place, you are about to undertake an exciting, valuable, necessary, and complex journey.

Many educators feel anxious or tentative in tackling the topics of sex, sexuality, and sexual health. They may feel overwhelmed about where to start or confused about what to teach and when to teach it. Planned Parenthood is here to help. As the nation’s oldest and most trusted provider of sexual health care, and with a national network of sexuality educators, we can help you advocate for comprehensive, medically accurate sex education in your school or program. We can also help you develop or choose a curriculum and implement it with confidence.

Planned Parenthood believes that parents and guardians should be the primary sexuality educators of their children. As with other complex issues, many parents may need support, resources, and expertise from schools and other organizations. It is important that young people receive age-appropriate sexual health information and develop practical skills for keeping healthy. Educators can help families by providing culturally meaningful learning opportunities in safe and nonjudgmental environments so that young people can learn about sexuality in a healthy and positive context.

What Is Comprehensive Sex Education?

Sometimes, people mistakenly believe that “sex ed” refers only to sexual behavior (e.g., sexual intercourse) and not the full array of topics that comprise sexuality. These include information and concerns about abstinence, body image, contraception, gender, human growth and development, human reproduction, pregnancy, relationships, safer sex (prevention of sexually transmitted infections), sexual attitudes and values, sexual anatomy and physiology, sexual behavior, sexual health, sexual orientation, and sexual pleasure.

Comprehensive sex education covers the wide array of topics that affect sexuality and sexual health. It is grounded in evidence-based, peer-reviewed science. Its goal is to promote health and well-being in a way that is developmentally appropriate. It includes information and communication skills building as well as values exploration. Ideally, sex education in school is an integrated process that builds upon itself year after year, is initiated in kindergarten, and is provided through grade 12.

What Are Abstinence-Only Programs and Why Don’t They Work?

Abstinence-only programs (also called abstinence-only-until-marriage programs) promote abstinence from sexual behavior. They strictly exclude discussion of other important sex ed topics, especially those concerned with birth control, safer sex, and sexual orientation. In fact, abstinence-only programs often provide inaccurate and alarmist misinformation about the effectiveness of condoms, contraception, and safer sex.

Advocates for Youth is a not-for-profit organization that champions efforts to help young people make informed and responsible decisions about their reproductive and sexual health. It posts helpful online information about the scientific evaluation of abstinence-only programs and how they fail our children.
 

Why Is Sex Education Necessary?

Sexuality is an integral part of each person’s identity. Learning about our sexuality and achieving sexual health and well-being are lifelong processes that begin at birth and continue throughout our lives. Although parents and guardians are the primary sex educators of their children, children also receive messages about sexuality from many other sources. Some of them may have more negative than positive impact. Schools and other community-based organizations can be important partners with parents to provide young people accurate and developmentally appropriate sex education.

The goals of comprehensive sex education are to help young people gain a positive view of sexuality and to provide them with developmentally appropriate knowledge and skills so that they can make healthy decisions about their sex lives now and in the future. Medically accurate sex education is an investment in our children’s future — their well-being. Our “return on investment” could be a generation of young people who have heard more helpful messages about sexuality than the provocative media images and/or silences they currently witness. It could be a generation of women and men comfortable in their own skin; able to make well-informed, responsible decisions; form healthy relationships; and take care of their bodies.

Who Supports Sex Education in School?

Public opinion polls show that most Americans support sex education. Parents and students want sex education to be taught in our schools. National surveys underscore parental support for school-based sex education. For example, a 2004 survey conducted by National Public Radio, the Henry Kaiser Family Foundation, and the Kennedy School of Government documented that more than 90 percent of parents support sex education in our schools. The study also showed that the vast majority (93 percent) of parents found that the sex education programs in their children’s school were either very helpful or somewhat helpful to their child in dealing with sexual issues.

How Is Comprehensive Sex Education Effectively Implemented?

Comprehensive sex education is a systematic and layered education process that supports youth and their families and helps them acquire the sexuality-related information, skills, and motivation necessary to act in ways that are congruent with their values. While parents and guardians are their children’s primary sex educators, the majority of them feel that they need support and/or professional expertise to lead the way. Schools, as well as faith groups and community-based organizations, all have a role to play. In fact, the nature of our education system in America puts schools in the ideal position to take the lead in this process.

Ideally, sex education would be taught each year in our schools from kindergarten through 12th grade. Like all school subjects, the information and skills that are taught are age-appropriate, reflect best-practice, and build on the previous year’s learning. According to the late Dr. Douglas Kirby, senior research scientist for ETR Associates in Scotts Valley, CA, and a nonpartisan expert on the effectiveness of school and community programs in the reduction of adolescent sexual risk-taking behaviors, (Public Health Reports, 190 (1997), 339-360) effective sex education

uses behavioral goals, teaching methods, and resources that are age-appropriate, developmentally appropriate, and culturally competent
is based on theoretical approaches that have been proven to be effective
takes place over sufficient time to cover necessary topics and skills
employs a variety of teaching methodologies that present the content in ways that make it relevant to the student
provides basic, accurate information about the risks of unprotected sexual intercourse and how to avoid unprotected sexual intercourse
includes activities that address peer pressure and cultural pressure
practices decision making, communication, negotiation, and refusal skills
utilizes teachers who are well-trained, comfortable, and believe in the program

With this in mind, educators may need guidance in how to select the goals, the information, the activities, and the methodologies to effectively teach about sex and sexuality. There are many highly regarded curricula, teaching tools, and professional development opportunities that teachers may find helpful. As with all resources, educators are urged to preview the material for the appropriateness of the content for their particular needs and the standards of their communities.

Select an option from the drop-down list at the bottom of this page to find additional resources on implementing sex education
How Do I Implement Comprehensive Sex Education?

It can be normal to feel overwhelmed by the task of developing and implementing comprehensive sex education in your school or program. Some educators find it helpful to talk with other professionals — mentors and/or supervisors — who have already implemented comprehensive sex education. It is important to get support from your school or organization. Here is a helpful checklist that may help prepare you for this important task.

Assess your own attitudes, values and beliefs.
Involve parents, school faculty, administration and staff, community leaders, and student leaders early in the process. You can benefit from their collective wisdom, help assure the development of culturally appropriate content, and garner wide-spread support.
Increase your comfort level with the topics.
Research what is already being done on this topic by your school, organization, or community. Identify the greatest gaps and needs in the students’ knowledge and skills.
Brush up on content and seek out appropriate professional development opportunities.
Partner with other teachers and youth-serving professionals to help ensure effectiveness and to add depth and breadth to your sexuality education program.
Research and select an established, evaluated sex education curriculum or develop a curriculum of your own. Use your state department of education, school board policies, and the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the U.S. as places to start.
Double-check that the content of your lessons balances the need to impart information, to develop skills, and to inspire motivation.
Review various teaching methodologies and incorporate them into each lesson plan.
Once you have developed or selected a curriculum, send out a communication to parents/guardians (and other stakeholders) and offer them opportunities to familiarize themselves with the content.
Carve out adequate time to implement the lessons.
Develop a strategy for creating a safe learning environment.
Develop and practice a protocol for answering difficult questions.
Develop and implement an evaluation plan for your program.
Develop and implement a plan to get feedback from all stakeholders.

So Now What?

While this may feel like a huge undertaking, break it down into discrete steps such as

Assess the needs.
Research solutions.
Garner support.
Develop a plan.
Develop or select a curriculum.
Create lesson plans.
Gather resources.
Have fun!

It may help to keep in mind that you may be the only adult who will ever talk to a young person about sexuality in an honest, accurate, and nonjudgmental way. Your good intentions, your positive, healthy attitude, your nonjudgmental tone, and the information you offer may be more than appreciated — it may save a young person’s life.

Armed with knowledge about comprehensive sex education, you now need to jump in! Talk with a mentor or colleague, browse your local library, or surf online to become acquainted with the breadth and scope of resources available.

Contact Planned Parenthood educators near you to talk with and learn more about this important topic. Many Planned Parenthood affiliates provide consultation and training to assist with implementing sexuality education programs.

Source : http://www.plannedparenthood.org/educators/implementing-sex-education

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Can honey boost your sex life?

Rekindling romance could be easier than you think. To fan the flames of passion, simply stock up on love foods at your local supermarket.
Although scientists doubt that so-called aphrodisiacs and popular passion potions contain any miracle ingredients to stimulate sexual desire, they do agree that most of them inspire psychological reactions that will get your heart beating faster.
According to Dr David Benton, a psychologist at the University of Wales, just thinking about these foods could kick-start a chemical reaction that leaves you emotionally aroused.
'If you believe that oysters or chocolates will set your heart racing, then you are well on the way to making it happen,' he says.
Here, we look at some of the favourite foods of love - and we give them a Passion Power Rating out of five.

Truffles
Recommended by Madame de Pompadour and Casanova, the 18th-century lovers, these fungi have been shown to stimulate the production of pheromones in animals - and the effects are thought to be similar in humans. The downside is that they are very expensive. You should expect to pay around £80 for a decent-size portion.

Passion power rating: 2/5
Honey
Honey is associated with love and sex in both the Bible and the Karma Sutra. At traditional Indian weddings, the bridegroom is often offered honey to boost his stamina - and it could do the same for all men.

Most potent are honeys from bees that gather nectar from aphrodisiac flowers such as jasmine, orchids or marjoram - reputedly the favourites of the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite.
Passion power rating: 3/5
Seafood
Probably because Aphrodite was said to be born from the sea, many shellfish have reputations as potent aphrodisiacs. Oysters - another of Casanova's favourite foods - have a high zinc content, the mineral needed for sperm production as well as keeping reproductive organs working healthily. Oysters contain more zinc than other foods.
Passion power rating: 3/5
Porridge
Porridge oats contain a substance called avena sativa which is said to revive a flagging libido. The compound has also been isolated and packaged as a supplement, which is being marketed in health food stores as a mild aphrodisiac.

Passion power rating: 2/5
Ginseng
The word ginseng means 'man root', and some people believe it to be an aphrodisiac because the plant is shaped like the human body.
For centuries, ginseng has been looked upon as an invigorating agent - ancient medical reports claimed it gives men 'the power of a bull'.

Passion power rating: 1/4
Chocolate
Chocolate contains a substance called Phenylethlamine (PEA) which is also present in the brain, where it triggers feelings of emotional arousal.

In theory, the more chocolate you eat, the more PEA you get and the more sensual you feel. In fact, the levels of PEA in a regular-sized bar of chocolate are very small - so you would have to eat an awful lot of chocolate to get any loving feeling.
Passion power rating: 2/5
Guarana
Guarana, alongside ginseng, is currently one of the most popular natural stimulants. It is produced from the berries of an Amazonian plant and has an active compound called Guaranine, which produces similar effects to caffeine and is known to help restore flagging energy levels. In the UK it is now available as an energy drink or supplement, but it is unlikely to give you more than a sort-lived burst.

Passion power rating: 1/5
Vegetables
Asparagus is renowned as a vegetable to serve your loved one on Valentine's Day. It has been used for centuries by naturopaths as a general tonic and reviving agent.
Other hopeful lovers believe in the power of celery and onions, while garlic is also popular with men, who believe it will provide them with added strength and endurance for a night of passion. None of these has scientific backing, however.

Passion power rating: 2/5
Spices
Chillies and other spices have been widely reputed to give listless love-lives a boost. There is some scientific truth in this, since heavily spiced foods often contain an active ingredient called capsaicin.

Eating a lot of chilli peppers can cause physiological responses - a flushed face, increased heart rate and metabolism - that are quite similar to the physical reactions

Source : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-23048/Can-honey-boost-sex-life.html

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8 Super Healthy Foods We Guarantee Your Kid will Eat

Nutritious Foods for Kids

For many parents, buying and preparing healthy foods is pretty easy. It’s getting your child to actually eat those nutritious foods that’s the hard part! This makes mealtimes frustrating and leaves parents often wondering if their child is getting enough nutrients. If this is the case in your home, then read on because we’ve got eight super healthy foods that we guarantee even your pickiest child will eat. 

 

Flaxseed

This nutty plant food is packed full of Omega-3 fatty acids which are needed for optimal brain development. Flaxseed is sold whole and ground, but research suggests that ground is absorbed by the body better. Try sprinkling ground flaxseed onto cereal or into the batter of sweet treats like Apple Upside-Down Cake or Banana-Cinnamon Waffles (pictured).  Replace 1/4 cup of flour with ground flaxseed in your child’s favorite muffin, bread, or pancake recipe to add a healthy boost to baked goods. 

 

Tofu

We know. You’re probably thinking there’s no way your child will ever touch tofu, right? Well, think again. Though not always a favorite when served whole in dishes, tofu is a kid-pleaser when used to provide a creamy base in smoothies and desserts like our Blueberry Power Smoothie and Cookies-and-Cream Ice Cream. Tofu is a great source of protein, B vitamins, calcium, and iron – all nutrients that kids often need more of for proper growth and bone health. Try one of our tofu recipes on your child, and we promise that he’ll be asking for more.

 

 

Sweet Potato

This spud is one of the most nutritious (and inexpensive) vegetables around. The Vitamin A in sweet potatoes keeps eyes healthy, and acts like an antioxidant in the body. Sweet potatoes are a favorite among babies because of their natural sweetness and bright color, but they are often forgotten once kids get older. Try a baked sweet potato the next time you need a side dish. Simply wash, pierce with a fork, and bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes or until tender. Then, serve like a baked potato topped with cinnamon-sugar and vanilla yogurt. Apple sauce or a drizzle of maple syrup also make good toppings. If you’ve got a mashed potato lover, then try Two-Potato Mash

 

Yogurt

Getting plenty of good bacteria, also known as probiotics, is key to keeping little stomachs happy and healthy, and yogurt is a great source of this bacteria. Limit sugary versions aimed at kids because these are often lower in protein and good bacteria. Instead, choose plain nonfat or low-fat yogurt or Greek yogurt and dress them up with a spoonful of honey and sprinkling of fresh fruit. Look for the words “live and active cultures” on the carton to ensure that the yogurt has plenty of beneficial bacteria.  Don’t forget too that a cup of yogurt counts towards your child’s daily dairy servings. Most yogurts actually have more calcium than a cup of milk.Kids will love to assemble their own Blueberry and Maple-Pecan Parfaits

Hummus

This heart-healthy dip and spread is one food that most kids will eat – as long as you don’t tell them it’s made from beans! But it’s the fiber, complex carbs, and protein in those garbanzo bean—combined with heart-healthy olive oil—that make hummus such a perfect food. The complex carbs fuel your busy little one, while the protein and fiber help keep him content and meltdown-free until dinner. Serve hummus as a dip with baked pita chips or baby carrots or use it in place of mayonnaise on sandwiches and wraps. Try store-bought or whip up a quick homemade version (Traditional Hummus).

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Salmon

If salmon isn’t a food you would think to serve to your child, then you might want to reconsider this pink fish. Wild salmon is an excellent source of high-quality protein which children need for proper growth as well as those Omega-3 fatty acids that are essential for brain development and heart health. Another plus for busy parents, salmon requires little seasoning due to natural flavor and can be baked or grilled in just a few minutes. If mercury levels have you worried, then take note of the fact that salmon is consistently rated by the FDA as one of the five fish lowest in mercury. Try one of these kid-friendly salmon recipes tonight: Salmon Burgers or Roasted Salmon with Citrus and Herbs.

 

Avocado

Avocado is full of monounsaturated fats, the “good” fats that kids actually need in their diet every day. In fact, it’s recommended that 25 to 35% of kid’s calories come from fats, primarily the unsaturated ones. So how do you get your child to eat this creamy green fruit?  We’ve found avocado goes over well with kids when served as a spread on wraps in place of mayonnaise or cream cheese. Ripe avocado should mash easily with a fork. Mix in a dash of lemon juice and salt, and you’ve got a tasty spread or dip.  Start kids on avocado early since fat intake is particularly important in the early years. In fact, ripe avocado is a perfect baby food spooned straight out of its peel.

Mango

One cup of this sweet tropical fruit provides almost a whole day’s supply of Vitamin C which helps keep kids’ immune systems running strong and keeps teeth and gums healthy. It also provides 3 grams of fiber for just around 100 calories. Buy fresh or jarred in juice to serve cut up or in a smoothie or dessert like Banana-Mango Smoothie  (pictured) or Double Mango Pudding. Want a fun way to cool your kids off and provide a nutritious snack? Puree peeled cubes of mango in a food processor or blender; pour into popsicle molds or ice cube trays and freeze. In a few hours, you’ve got frozen mango pops! 

 

 

 

 

Source : http://www.cookinglight.com/eating-smart/nutrition-101/healthy-foods-kids

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How to Be a Good Parenting

10 Commandments of Good Parenting

You know the checkout line scenario: 3-year-old child wants this toy, this candy, this something -- and she wants it nooooow! The crying starts, escalating into a full-blown tantrum.

In his new book, The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting, Laurence Steinberg, PhD, provides guidelines based on the top social science research -- some 75 years of studies. Follow them, and you can avert all sorts of child behavior problems, he says.

After all, what is the goal when you're dealing with children? To show who's boss? To instill fear? Or to help the child develop into a decent, self-confident human being?

Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness, says Steinberg. It also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve. It helps protect children from developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behavior, and alcohol and drug abuse.

"Parenting is one of the most researched areas in the entire field of social science," says Steinberg, who is a distinguished professor of psychology at Temple University in Philadelphia. The scientific evidence for the principles he outlines "is very, very consistent," he tells WebMD.

Too many parents base their actions on gut reaction. But some parents have better instincts than others, Steinberg says. Children should never be hit -- not even a slap on a toddler's bottom, he tells WebMD. "If your young child is headed into danger, into traffic, you can grab him and hold him, but you should under no circumstances hit him."

Ruby Natale PhD, PsyD, professor of clinical pediatrics at the University of Miami Medical School, couldn't agree more. She offered a few of her own insights. "Many people use the same tactics their own parents used, and a lot of times that meant using really harsh discipline," she tells WebMD.

A parent's relationship with his or her child will be reflected in the child's actions -- including child behavior problems, Natale explains. "If you don't have a good relationship with your child, they're not going to listen to you. Think how you relate to other adults. If you have a good relationship with them, you tend to trust them more, listen to their opinions, and agree with them. If it's someone we just don't like, we will ignore their opinion."

Steinberg's 10 principles hold true for anyone who deals with children -- coach, teacher, babysitter, he says.

The Principles of Good Parenting

1. What you do matters. "This is one of the most important principles," Steinberg tells WebMD. "What you do makes a difference. Your kids are watching you. Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, 'What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?'"

2. You cannot be too loving. "It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love," he writes. "What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions."

3. Be involved in your child's life. "Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically."

Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or reading it over or correcting it. "Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not," Steinberg tells WebMD. "If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning."

4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace with your child's development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior.

"The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say 'no' all the time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained," writes Steinberg. "The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table."

For example: An eighth grader is easily distracted, irritable. His grades in school are suffering. He's argumentative. Should parents push him more, or should they be understanding so his self-esteem doesn't suffer?

"With a 13-year-old, the problem could be a number of things," Steinberg says. "He may be depressed. He could be getting too little sleep. Is he staying up too late? It could be he simply needs some help in structuring time to allow time for studying. He may have a learning problem. Pushing him to do better is not the answer. The problem needs to be diagnosed by a professional."

5. Establish and set rules. "If you don't manage your child's behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren't around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself."

"But you can't micromanage your child," Steinberg tells WebMD. "Once they're in middle school, you need let the child do their own homework, make their own choices, and not intervene."

6. Foster your child's independence. "Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she's going to need both."

It is normal for children to push for autonomy, says Steinberg. "Many parents mistakenly equate their child's independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else."

7. Be consistent. "If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it."

Many parents have problems being consistent, Steinberg tells WebMD. "When parents aren't consistent, children get confused. You have to force yourself to be more consistent."

8. Avoid harsh discipline. Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances. "Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children," he writes. "They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others."

"There is a lot of evidence that spanking causes aggression in children, which can lead to relationship problems with other kids," Steinberg tells WebMD. "There are many other ways to discipline a child, including 'time out,' which work better and do not involve aggression."

9. Explain your rules and decisions. "Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to," he writes. "Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have."

An example: A 6-year-old is very active and very smart -- but blurts out answers in class, doesn't give other kids a chance, and talks too much in class. His teacher needs to address the child behavior problem. He needs to talk to the child about it, says Steinberg. "Parents might want to meet with the teacher and develop a joint strategy. That child needs to learn to give other children a chance to answer questions."

10. Treat your child with respect. "The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully," Steinberg writes. "You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others."

For example, if your child is a picky eater: "I personally don't think parents should make a big deal about eating," Steinberg tells WebMD. "Children develop food preferences. They often go through them in stages. You don't want turn mealtimes into unpleasant occasions. Just don't make the mistake of substituting unhealthy foods. If you don't keep junk food in the house, they won't eat it."

Likewise, the checkout line tantrum can be avoided, says Natale. "Children respond very well to structure. You can't go shopping without preparing them for it. Tell them, 'We will be there 45 minutes. Mommy needs to buy this. Show them the list. If you don't prepare them, they will get bored, tired, upset by the crowds of people."

"Parents forget to consider the child, to respect the child," Natale tells WebMD. "You work on your relationships with other adults, your friendships, your marriage, dating. But what about your relationship with your child? If you have a good relationship, and you're really in tune with your child, that's what really matters. Then none of this will be an issue."

Source : http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/10-commandments-good-parenting

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Hug It Out! Warm Embrace May Keep Illness at Bay

Conventional wisdom tells us to keep our distance from sick people. Even when our kids aren't feeling well, we typically try to avoid catching their flu or cold.

"Air kiss!"

But a new study suggests close contact, namely a hug, may help to prevent people from getting infections.

The Lowdown

The Carnegie Mellon University study, which was published in the journal "Psychological Science," looked at 404 adults' interpersonal conflicts and the amount of hugs they received. Then all participants were exposed to the cold virus—yes, voluntarily!

Believe it or not, researchers found that people who got more hugs became less sick with the infection.

"The apparent protective effect of hugs may be attributable to the physical contact itself or to hugging being a behavioral indicator of support and intimacy. Either way, those who receive more hugs are somewhat more protected from infection," explained lead researcher Sheldon Cohen in a press release.

The Upshot

Researchers noted that not only can a hug offer some protection against infection, but that sick people who have the benefit of an embrace from a loved one experience less severe symptoms.

So not that you need another excuse to cuddle with your kiddos, but remember this study the next time your tot begins to sniffle. Perhaps all he needs is some quality snuggle time with mom! And conversely, if you hug it out with him, you're boosting your own immune response to the infection.

Source

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Why Kids Need Their Dads

Four decades of research and hundreds of studies have proven what should be obvious to everyone: The more involved a dad is, the more successful his children will be. A father's influence can determine a child's social life, grades at school, and future achievements.

Involved dads = Successful children

The dad effect starts as early as birth. A review of studies by the Father Involvement Research Alliance shows that babies with more involved fathers are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident in new situations, and eager to explore their surroundings. As they grow, they are more sociable. Toddlers with involved fathers are better problem-solvers and have higher IQs by age 3. They are more ready to start school and can deal with the stress of being away from home all day better than children with less involved fathers .

At school, children of involved fathers do better academically. For example, a study by the U.S. Department of Education found that children of highly involved fathers were 43 percent more likely than other children to earn mostly As and 33 percent less likely to repeat a grade. They are also less likely to have behavior problems at school and to experience depression.

According to the Father Involvement Research Alliance review, girls with involved fathers have higher self-esteem, and teenage girls who are close to their dads are less likely to become pregnant. Boys show less aggression, less impulsivity, and more self-direction. As young adults, children of involved fathers are more likely to achieve higher levels of education, find success in their careers, have higher levels of self-acceptance and experience psychological well-being. Adults who had involved fathers are more likely to be tolerant and understanding, have supportive social networks made up of close friends, and have long-term successful marriages.

Everyday activities are important

A study by Brigham Young University researchers finds that involvement in everyday activities, such as eating dinner together, watching TV, playing in the yard, and playing video games are even more important to share with Dad than big outings or trips, although those contribute to children's development as well. Fathers and youths in the study experienced more satisfaction and cohesion in their family when fathers were involved in everyday core activities.

"Although participation in balance family leisure activities is important and needed, it was fathers' involvement in the everyday, home-based, common family leisure activities that held more weight than the large, extravagant, out-of-the-ordinary types of activities when examining family functioning," the authors said.

Different approaches

But how does a father's influence differ from a mother's? Isn't one good parent enough? "Fathers and mothers have unique and complementary roles in the home," says Brett Copeland, a clinical psychologist in Tacoma, Washington. "Fathers encourage competition, independence, and achievement. Mothers encourage equity, security, and collaboration."

W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project and associate professor of sociology at the University of Virginia, says that fathers' special input differs from mothers' in at least four ways: playing, encouraging risk, protecting and disciplining.

Playing

By asking parents of 390 families how they play with their children, psychologist Ross Parke found that "in infants and toddlers, fathers' hallmark style of interaction is physical play that is characterized by arousal, excitement, and unpredictability." Mothers, on the other hand, were "more modulated and less arousing" in their play. This became glaringly obvious to me when my husband left home for a year and a half to work in Afghanistan. My modulated play was not cutting it. Several months into the experience, our three kids began complaining to me, "You never tickle us." I had to take a page from my husband's playbook for a while.

A manual from the U.S. Children's Bureau explains the impact of fathers' play this way: "From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior. Roughhousing with dad, for example, can teach children how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions."

Encouraging risk

Where mothers tend to worry about their children's safety and well-being, fathers encourage their children to take risks. Psychologist Daniel Paquette's review of scholarly research found that dads are more likely to encourage their children to overcome obstacles, to talk to strangers, and to go in the deep end during swim lessons. One study in the review (J. Le Camus, "Les interaction pere-enfant en milieu aquatique") focused on a group of parents teaching their children how to swim. It found that "fathers tend to stand behind their children so the children face their social environment, whereas mothers tend to position themselves in front of their children, seeking to establish visual contact with the children."

Protecting

Perhaps it's their size, strength, or inclination to protect, but fathers appear to be better at keeping predators and bad influences from harming their children. Psychologist Rob Palkovitz said in The Atlantic, "Paternal absence has been cited by multiple scholars as the single greatest risk factor in teen pregnancy for girls." When fathers are more involved, they can better monitor what's going on in their children's lives, including interaction with peers and adults.

Disciplining

Although mothers discipline more often, fathers discipline with a firmer hand. In their book Partnership Parenting, Drs. Kyle Pruett and Marsha Kline Pruett write, "Fathers tend to be more willing than mothers to confront their children and enforce discipline, leaving their children with the impression that they in fact have more authority." Mothers, on the other hand, try to reason with their children and rely on kids' emotional attachment to them to influence their behavior. Although Mom and Dad may not seem to be on the same page, this diverse approach can be very effective in disciplining children.

The good news about being a dad is that you don't have to be spectacular at it to make a major positive contribution to your child's life. W. Bradford Wilcox looked at data on delinquency, pregnancy, and depression in adolescents and compared the statistics with how the teens rated their fathers or if they lived with a single mother. He found that outcomes for teens in single-mother homes were about the same as those living with both a mother and a poor-quality father; teens had higher levels of delinquency, pregnancy, and depression. But teens living with their mother and father, with whom they had an average-quality relationship, experienced much lower negative outcomes. Teens who had a high-quality relationship with their father had even lower rates. Wilcox concludes that "great, and even good-enough dads, appear to make a real difference in their children's lives."

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